AQuAsHiNe

i went to a church event it was last weekend and it wasn't by choice. they shuffled us into a building, with nothing to do. quite boring, really. and then they made us sit in a stuffy room and talk to a stuffy old man and you'd confess your sins to a god that i'm not sure exists. the old man wasn't kind looking like the others, his eyes were rimmed with red. he looked like he could drop dead at any second. so i made my confession brief. but when i asked me how long it's been since my last confession i lied to the man. i've never been to confession before. he told me to pray more. i said i would. that makes two lies.

i remember back when i still wore neon clothes and let others influence me i tried to write poetry. i knew i wasn't a poet but i still tried it was about a boy like all little girl's poems and now all my poems are about depressing things and mysterious worldly things but i'm still not a writer.

Dear adult me,              Well shit, it's been awhile since I've...er...you've looked like this, right?  I remember that when I was leaving middle school, I had to write a letter to my high school senior-self. I can't remember what I even said on it, probably some stupid crap about anime and my boyfriend who's now my best friend. But, though I'm not a senior yet, I'm going to write this to you anyways.             And I'm doing this because a lot has changed since eighth grade, when I was still young and stupid. Well, I'm still stupid, but I was a hell of a lot more idiotic then. For one, I don't like anime and my style of music has cha

i tried hard to write you a sonnet one that shows your charming eyes and smile but capturing your beauty, i cannot i can't get good poetry on file this is something i can not prepare for i can try hard but i will always fail the sight of you always makes me want more if i see you, my heart will drop like hail i was never told i was any good but never told i was truly any bad when i'm around you my heart feels like wood i feel like i can write even when sad i feel like my writing truly sucks ass but if i'm thinking of you, it can pass.

i was told that if you do something nice for some one and make them smile, and if you don't do anything to harm another, you will sleep easier so i set out to make someone smile. it wasn't hard or arduous. it was as simple as holding the door open for someone. the person i held the door open for was a young man, a year older than me. he was attractive and i knew him. so i held the door open for him and he gave me a smile and thanked me. the man who told me that was right. (and what a charming smile it was)